


Never Forget

by everydayistuesday



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is happy, Dean Winchester is Not Heterosexual, Destiel is cannon, I didn’t edit this, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Officially, One Shot, anyway, because somehow destiel and putin correlate, but now we have an I love you, does anyone know what’s happening on tumblr right now, i can’t cope with the episode, it was already cannon before, light canonical violence, not entirely sure how to tag this, pre 15x18, so all mistakes are mine, there were a lot of tears last night, this can now be filed under cannon ships, this is my coping mechanism, what are these tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27418876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everydayistuesday/pseuds/everydayistuesday
Summary: The times Castiel never forgot about his deal. And the one time he did. Written pre 15x18.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 28





	Never Forget

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t have words for last night. I can’t decide if it was better or worse than I imagined. All I know is that they can’t no homo their way out of that. No way. It was cannon before, but it’s CANNON now.   
> I wrote this in the two hours before 15x18 aired. It was my coping mechanism. Expect more fic from me in the coming weeks, because after that Ima have to do a lot more coping.

Castiel didn’t let himself forget about his deal. Forgetting meant that he could be happy, and that meant he would leave Dean. Castiel wouldn’t do that to him. Not after he had promised not to. He wasn’t going to be another name on the long list of people that had left Dean. 

  
Castiel wasn’t sure exactly when he had fallen in love with Dean Winchester. 

All he knew was that he was lost the moment he first caught a glimpse of Dean's soul, whether he had realized it in the moment or not. 

It was the brightest soul he had ever seen, in all the time he had existed. It shone especially bright in hell, amongst the warped and twisted faces of demons, the dark, unwelcoming landscape, and the hazy shroud of hellfire. 

To this day, Dean’s soul was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

Actually,  _ Dean  _ was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Whether it was his unmistakable soul, or his evergreen eyes, or his galaxy of freckles, or his laugh- 

Castiel loved him. 

And Dean loved Castiel. 

It had been right before the fight against Chuck when Dean told him. They had thought they were going to die. 

Outside the bunker, ready to leave for what appeared to be the final time, they were getting ready to pile into the Impala. Sam had run back inside to grab something, leaving Dean and Castiel alone. 

They were quiet for a moment before Dean spoke. 

“Cas, man, I- look,” he had said. “Killing Chuck- we’re not going to make it out of this fight. Not all of us.”

Castiel nodded. “I know.” 

“So I’m probably not going to get another chance to tell you- uh-“ 

“To tell me what, Dean?” Castiel prompted gently. 

Dean opened his mouth as though to say something, then hesitated. “Fuck it.” He leaned forward suddenly and pressed his lips to Castiel’s. 

  
Castiel’s brain short circuited for a moment. 

By the time he realized that  _ Dean was kissing him, Dean was actually kissing him _ , Dean had pulled away. 

“I, uh, I’m sorry, just pretend-“ 

Castiel cut him off with a kiss. 

I t didn’t take long before Dean melted into it and into Castiel’s touch. 

If there was one moment that would make Castiel truly happy, this was it. 

The kiss seemed to last for ages, and even still it ended too soon. 

When they broke apart, Dean huffed a laugh. “You scared me for a moment there.”

“I panicked,” Castiel said. “I never thought-“ He broke off. 

Dean deserved better than him. Dean deserved to be with someone worthy of him, not a broken angel. He deserved better than Castiel. 

“Love you, Cas.”

  
Castiel couldn’t remember being happier. 

“I love you too, Dean.”

  
When Sam came out a few minutes later, he gave a whoop. “Finally!” he grinned. “Took you two long enough!”

“Shut up, Sammy,” Dean mumbled, ducking his head to hide a smile. 

“You take shotgun, Cas. I’ll sit in the back.”

They were in a much better mood than they should have been as they drove off to kill Chuck. The whole drive, Dean and Castiel held hands while Led Zeppelin blared. 

* * *

When Chuck was dead, Dean crouched over Sam’s body, tears streaming down his face. When Castiel wrapped his arms around him, Dean let himself be held.

  
When they burned Sam’s body and struggled to move forward, they had each other.

* * *

It wasn’t easy, but somehow they found a new normal. 

  
Castiel went to get groceries once a week. Dean cooked dinner every night. They took long drives in the Impala. Not to hunt, but just to be on the road. 

Even settled into a domestic life, one where he and Dean exchanged kisses and they weren’t constantly narrowly avoiding death, Castiel didn’t forget the Empty. Especially after Sam, he wouldn’t leave Dean. Never. 

He didn’t forget even when years later, Dean got down on one knee and offered him a ring. 

Despite the ever-looming threat of his deal, that was one of his favorite memories, bested only by the night he and Dean first kissed. 

* * *

It was just the two of them and the priest in the chapel.

  
They had chosen this one because of its size- it was small, despite it’s high and vaulted ceilings. It felt a little bit less like they were missing people. 

It made it easier to ignore the missing presence of the rest of their family. Charlie. Kevin. Bobby. Jack. Sam. 

There was an ache somewhere in Castiel’s chest; they would have been thrilled to be there, Sam especially. 

He didn’t let himself linger on it, opting instead to study the church from where he stood at the marble altar. The walls were made from old stone, and the sun filtered through the brightly colored stained glass. 

The door at the other end of the chapel opened. 

Castiel turned. 

Dean’s eyes flickered around the empty pews and regret flashed on his face for a moment, then he met Castiel’s eyes. He smiled shyly. 

Castiel stared. 

He had seen Dean in a suit many times. He couldn’t recall any one of those times where he had looked as handsome and beautiful as he did now. 

Castiel smiled back when Dean reached the altar, and the priest began. 

All this time, Castiel had not allowed himself to forget. All this time, he had remembered. 

And then Dean held out the ring. 

And then Castiel realized that Dean really wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

And Castiel wanted to spend the rest of his life with Dean too. 

And he forgot. 

And he was happy. 

When their lips were locked together, it came.

There was a crack from behind them.

“Well, well, well.”

  
They broke apart abruptly. 

Behind them, the priest had collapsed on the ground, neck twisted at an odd angle. Before them, the Empty.

The Empty wore Meg’s last vessel. It smirked at Castiel. 

“Took you awhile, Clarence,” it drawled. 

“Meg?” Dean’s hand moved instinctively towards his jacket for a knife that wasn’t there. 

“Ha. Nope, I’m just borrowing her pretty face.” It addressed Castiel again. “He doesn’t know.”

“Know what?” Dean demanded. He stepped protectively in front of Castiel. 

The Empty laughed. “Why don’t you tell him?” 

“Tell me what? Cas?” Dean didn’t take his eyes off it the whole time. 

“I made a deal,” Castiel said hollowly. 

“What?” Dean turned to face him then, disbelieving. 

“I made a deal. It was to save Jack.” He couldn’t look at him.

“What was the deal?” Dean’s voice was thick. 

“My life for Jack’s.”

“Then- then why-?”

“He only fulfills his end of the bargain once he’s truly happy,” the Empty said. “Thanks for that, by the way. You were the one who made him happy.” 

Dean lowered his voice and spoke to Castiel. “Listen, Cas, you get out of here. I’ll hold it off- we’ll talk about this later.” 

“Dean, what-“

Dean rushed at the Empty. 

  
It smirked lazily, then flicked its hand. 

“NO!”

Castiel screamed as Dean flew into the stone wall with a sickening crack. He rushed to him.

“Dean!” Castiel dropped to his knees next to him. 

There was blood on the wall. Blood on his suit. When Castiel reached out to touch Dean’s face, his hand came away red. 

“Cas- you gotta run-“ Dean grimaced at the effort, but his eyes held Castiel’s. “I’ll catch- catch up, ‘kay?”

“I’m not leaving you,” Castiel said. He pulled off his jacket and tried to figure out where the blood was coming from, he had to stem it, but there was so much-

“Love you,” Dean managed. His eyes grew unfocused. 

“Dean?  _ Dean! _ ”

He was gone. 

Castiel hugged his body to his chest.

_ Dean wasn’t supposed to die, he wasn’t supposed to die, they were done with that, this was  _ his _ fault- _

__

The Empty laughed, cold and amused. “Oh, this is too perfect.”

“Bring him back,” Castiel demanded, voice breaking. “Bring Dean back. He isn’t part of this. You want me, fine. But bring him back.”

“No can do. In fact… I don’t want you anymore,” it said. 

Castiel faltered. “What?” 

“You heard me. You’ll live- forever- and you’ll live with the knowledge that lover boy is dead because of you. This is far better than ripping you from your happiness. You did that yourself.” 

  
It vanished as quickly as it had come. 

Castiel stayed, clutching Dean, tears carving paths down his face. 

* * *

He tried everything. Bring Dean back, ripping his grace out, calling in favors. Nothing worked. 

  
Dean was gone. He was really truly gone. 

Castiel blamed himself. 

Long after humanity had fallen, Castiel was still there. 

Alone, accompanied only by his guilt.

He never forgot.

**Author's Note:**

> Just because I can now say it:  
> Destiel is CANNON!   
> Also, Tumblr is on something right now, and I love it (though admittedly not as much as Cas and Dean love each other). If you haven’t been on there since last night, do that.


End file.
